Never Take That Tone With Your Mother!

A dear friend of mine just sent me a book that he has been enjoying. I was able to begin reading it last night and I must say, I am greatly enjoying it! When a student at the Franciscan University in Steubenville recommends a book...read it.

In this case I opened an Amazon box to find "The Lord" by Romano Guardini inside. After a brief moment of panic in which I was convinced I had somehow managed to order a book in my sleep, I saw the gift note saying the volume was from a friend in Ohio. I laughed at myself.

Last night I was reading the chapter entitled "The Mother" and found myself being drawn in and engaged in the text more so than many books I have been reading lately. As I read I also noticed that the points being made were sparking additional revelations on the topic in my own mind. These all interwove to create for me a very warm and comfortable new understanding of the Blessed Mother. I want to speak of it here because half of the revelation happened between the lines and when I go back to reread the chapter in the future, I am noticing that without notes, 50% of what I "read" there will have dissipated.

The opening paragraph is beautiful:

"Anyone who would understand the nature of a tree, should examine the earth that encloses its roots, the soil from whch its sap climbs into branch, blossom, and fruit. Similarly to understand the person of Jesus Christ, one would do well to look to the soil that brought him forth: Mary, his mother." (Guardini,10)

He goes on to say that, "Mary's destiny was shaped by that of her child."
With this simple statement it occurred to me that Her whole existance, through and through, was one of humility. She no longer lived, if that had ever been her view(which I doubt), for her own ambition or personal fulfillment, but rather to nurture and mother the Child-God. Simeon had prophesied that her soul would be sword-pierced as she journeyed along the road that was being the mother of the Logos. Many authors and scholars with more clout than I, have examined and reflected upon the handful of passages in scripture in which Holy mother and Divine son interact. Often the observation is that the very otherworldlyness and seeming aloofness of Jesus' words, to and about his own mother, must have been one of the many sorrows Mary endured and accepted with peace and humility as part of the nature of being the Christ's mother. Guardini speaks of the interaction upon the finding of the child in the temple as follows. "Not understanding [Jesus], she buries the words like precious seed within her. The incident is typical: the mother's vision is unequal to that of her son, but her heart, like chosen ground, is deep enough to sustain the highest tree."

In looking at the words Jesus speaks to his mother, it is hard not to hear a bit of an attitude or superiority in the way he phrases things. "How is it that you sought me? Did you not know I must be about my Father's business?" Okay, it sounds a bit snotty. Honestly. Usually I skip past the matter with the conclusion that I must be missing something in order to understand why Mary didn't slap his little divine face for the seemingly disrespectful comment. Obviously we are dealing with two more nobel people than I. However, in reading this new book of mine, it suddenly occurred to me that the whole matter hinged on "tone".

When I was younger I was forever getting in trouble with my mom for things I would say. It drove me crazy because the words I spoke should never have gotten me in trouble. However, I was constantly being told, " It's not what you said. It's HOW you said it." This drove me up a wall since I took the effort to pick diplomatic words that I thought would keep me OUT of trouble and was STILL getting in trouble. I was learning about that unruly beast, "Tone of Voice", mastery of which eludes teenagers everywhere for the greater part of their adolescence.

Look at the scene of the finding of the child Jesus in the temple from a new perspective. The only thing we will be changing is our perception of Christ's tone of voice. Mary and Joseph stumble into the temple area, short of breath, dusty, and in a panic. Mary's eyes may be a little red from weeping from worry. She sees her 12 year old boy, safe, sitting among a group of teachers. In Luke the scripture describes her as being astonished. WHich part of the situation has astonished her? I have never wondered about that before. Is she astonished that they found him in good health or that he apparently had never been in any distress himself? Was she astonished that he was safe all along? Was her surprise about where they found him or the circumstance? Was the astonishing part that he was interacting intelligently with the teachers, engaging them and even providing his own astonishing answers to their questions? Perhaps every aspect was astonishing, thus magnifying its affect.

Mary then asks him, "Son, why have you treated us so? Behold, in sorrow your father and I have been seeking you." Did she blurt this out in front of everyone? Or was this uttered in anguish, privately, as they drew him aside from the company of teachers in the temple? Do you see how this one aspect alone changes the tone of the conversation? We know his reply. "How is it that you sought me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father's house?"

Here is where I am given to pause the longest. It is not a rebuke. I would boldly venture to say that it is not even a mild scolding or even a strongly worded correction that he directed at Mary. In fact he probably ran to her embrace with unbridled affection right before or after his reply. I am torn between two interpretations of the CHrist child's tone in this instance. I can imagine him laughing in a deeply loving way and teasing his mother that if ever he was lost she should have thought to look for him in the temple(his Father's house) as a meeting point FIRST, not after three days of looking elsewhere. Though, it may be a second way of looking at it, based on the fact that Mary came away from the conversation "not understanding the saying which he spoke to them". Perhaps it was just an instance of loving misunderstanding. Perhaps what looks like a rebuke is Jesus attempting to explain the matter to his mother. With great affection he hopes she will understand the spiritual nature of his explanation. I can imagine him looking into her eyes longing for the bond between them as mother and son to kindle a natural understanding in her of the situation. Perhaps he is a little confused by her reaction, having thought she would understand what he had done, and chose, perhaps with a little sigh of resignation, the shortest and simplest explanation upon seeing that it all had not been comprehended. He went home and obeyed. Perhaps he had resolved, after the temple incident, not to cause his mother and foster father any more anxiety via impromptu forays into the mission of his heavenly Father until his appointed time to go forth full strength and full time.

All of these, however, are just my ponderings.






-Jesus, I trust in you.